Selective Memory
I would be lying if I said everything was great here. The basics are as expected - food, art, history, mediterannean sensuality, etc. - all amazing. But as my second week comes to a close and the reality of daily life is slowly setting in, I'm surprisingly homesick for New York.
I've made a few acquaintances from school and a few outside of school, but I've yet to find my very own bosom buddy. I know these things don't happen overnight and I am doing my best to curtail my impatience. And by curtail I mean ignore. The new grind got me longing for days of yore, when running errands was a pain in the ass but not necessarilly hard. And for my friends (that would be you, reader).
The language barrier has sunk in as well. I think living in a foreign country is a most excellent sociological and psychological experiment (slash test-of-will). I am a very expressive, emotive character and do my best expressing and emoting with the english language. Living here and trying to explain my point is like being three years old again and not being able to verbally communicate what it is you want or need. You don't really know what it is you want or need, so you throw a temper tantrum. The same phenomenon is happening to me here, and it gives me an entirely new insight into children now. I still don't like them all that much, but it's a step.
It's amazing to be 25 years old and realize that you'd completely forgotten how it felt to not be understood.
I was also reflecting on how much I missed NYC until I got an email from a dear friend, who said that she's thinking about leaving Manhattan. And then I remembered.
In times of loneliness or desperation, we look back on what made us feel good. We forget about all of the bad stuff.
But you have to be strong, and realize things end for a reason. I left New York for a reason. I'd reached a point where I was sick of taking the same 6 weekend trips (MoMA, walk in the park, brunch in the village, shopping on 5th, Whole Foods, a movie at the Angelika). And even though I'm feeling a new, different kind of loneliness in this new city, I remembered today that I'd be the same old stagnant Allie had I stayed in Manhattan. Onward and upward.
All that being said, I took a walking art history tour of Via Giulia this evening and then had dinner in Trastevere with my Polish friend Magda, where we dished on politics, the international economy, men, Mexicans, and prosciutto. Afterwards I had a text from my friend Flaminia telling me we're going dancing Saturday night and details are to follow. So I guess I can't complain all that much about being 'lonely.' But I still really miss you guys.
I've made a few acquaintances from school and a few outside of school, but I've yet to find my very own bosom buddy. I know these things don't happen overnight and I am doing my best to curtail my impatience. And by curtail I mean ignore. The new grind got me longing for days of yore, when running errands was a pain in the ass but not necessarilly hard. And for my friends (that would be you, reader).
The language barrier has sunk in as well. I think living in a foreign country is a most excellent sociological and psychological experiment (slash test-of-will). I am a very expressive, emotive character and do my best expressing and emoting with the english language. Living here and trying to explain my point is like being three years old again and not being able to verbally communicate what it is you want or need. You don't really know what it is you want or need, so you throw a temper tantrum. The same phenomenon is happening to me here, and it gives me an entirely new insight into children now. I still don't like them all that much, but it's a step.
It's amazing to be 25 years old and realize that you'd completely forgotten how it felt to not be understood.
I was also reflecting on how much I missed NYC until I got an email from a dear friend, who said that she's thinking about leaving Manhattan. And then I remembered.
In times of loneliness or desperation, we look back on what made us feel good. We forget about all of the bad stuff.
But you have to be strong, and realize things end for a reason. I left New York for a reason. I'd reached a point where I was sick of taking the same 6 weekend trips (MoMA, walk in the park, brunch in the village, shopping on 5th, Whole Foods, a movie at the Angelika). And even though I'm feeling a new, different kind of loneliness in this new city, I remembered today that I'd be the same old stagnant Allie had I stayed in Manhattan. Onward and upward.
All that being said, I took a walking art history tour of Via Giulia this evening and then had dinner in Trastevere with my Polish friend Magda, where we dished on politics, the international economy, men, Mexicans, and prosciutto. Afterwards I had a text from my friend Flaminia telling me we're going dancing Saturday night and details are to follow. So I guess I can't complain all that much about being 'lonely.' But I still really miss you guys.
posted by Chaden at 9:33 PM
1 Comments:
And we miss you too! As hard as this part is, it's also very humbling. Makes you appreciate your wonderful friends and family even more.
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