Awesome/Not Awesome: Summer Edition
Many months ago, my dear friend Regan related a funny story about her boyfriend's cousin, visiting form Israel. His English was not superb but in efforts to make small talk, she began asking him about life on the kibbutz from whence he came.
"Well, there are cows," he said. "And I must tend to them."
"Oh, how many cows are there?" She asked, encouraging him to practice his English. She expected him to say 20. 30, max.
"There are a thousand."
"Oh, that's awesome," Regan responded, caught off guard.
"No," he replied in innocent, staccato English. "It is not awesome."
As summer is officially in full swing and we've all had a few weeks of getting adjusted to this new, sweltering season, I've observed a few of the things that make this time of year my favorite. Or, in some cases, least favorite. Read on and see if you agree.
Awesome: BBQ
Anyone from Texas (I'm looking at you, Esh) will tell you that a Yankee BBQ is a joke. When we say "barbecue" we a) say it without the required slow, southern drawl, and b) we basically mean "grill." I'm not being a food lexicon snob here - we legitimately were raised thinking throwing a few patties on the Weber meant BBQ. But oh how wrong we were. True BBQ is hard to come by in the city, but luckily outposts like Blue Smoke help make up for it. On a recent Saturday I ventured to a baby shower and was greeted not only by good friends but the smell of brown-sugar-sweet, slow-cooked pork. The mac and cheese (without which no BBQ meal would be complete) was juuuuuuust right - not too dry, where the cheese coagulates and the oil drips to the bottom of the pan, and not too watery, where the pasta doesn't hold onto the fake cheese sauce. This was creamy without being soupy; and had a rich layered taste. I'd say without a doubt the cheese was cheddar and there was lots of it, and definitely dry mustard was added to give "zing" and to cut the creaminess of the dairy.
Yes, ladies and gents, that is my party trick. Take me to a restaurant, let me sample your favorite dish, and I can likely tell you what the secret ingredient is. You think that Lebanese dessert smells like your grandmother? Rosewater. Can't place the herb in your salad dressing? Likely tarragon.
On occasion I've been brought into Sur La Table with friends who have led me around the store by my wrists, turned to their mystified friends/siblings/salespeople and said "Watch this. Allie - what would one use this for?" They may ask, holding up a small, conical wooden dowel.
"For making ice cream cones, obvi."
Really, it's a gift. Next time you're in town we should totally hit up Bed, Bath, & Beyond. It's almost as much fun as playing Jeopardy! with me on TiVo (no, I do NOT prerecord in order to cheat).
Super Awesome: Homemade Summer Sweets
Lia, my mentor and a true food lover (who is my go-to in times of restaurant rec needs) treated us all to her homemade whoopie pies and banana cake at the Blue Smoke BBQ. There's no sweeter way to end a catered affair than with a home-baked dessert, and she blew us all away. The whoopie pies were dense, moist, and full of rich dark cocoa flavor, and the cream filling would make Little Debbie weep (or hang her head in shame). The banana cake was almost as good as Billy's Bakery and had that fresh banana taste - using real mashed bananas is key, as that banana "flavoring" tastes faker than Pam Anderson's tits. The best part was I got to keep the leftover cream cheese frosting at my place until Lia came back to claim it on Monday. It was delish atop something simple. Like my right index finger.
Awesome: Skimpy Clothing
As the mercury rises so, too, does the amount of skin women show. Small summer dresses, tube tops, short skirts, super lightweight tanks and tees, short shorts...the list goes on. I love that I can throw on essentially a long-ish tank top and some flip flops and count that as an "outfit" perfectly acceptable to wear in public. I like that if the mood strikes (as it often does) I can prance around town in tiny tees that will give me the best possible tan lines. And the bright colors! All of which also motivate a girl to hit the gym. And despite my need for an industrial-strength sports bra, somehow in the summer I have zero qualms about wearing a bikini top as a bra on the weekends. For all the guy in the coffee shop knows, you were totally just lounging at the SoHo House pool.
Not Awesome: Men's Reaction to Skimpy Summer Clothing
This one is fairly self-explanatory. But to clarify: Sorry, sir, but just because you and your greasy construction team are taking a lunch break does not mean that my walking (not prancing - just straight walking) down the street is for your benefit. It is not a catwalk. It is not a strip club. I am lugging my overheated ass to run errands and these bags form Whole Foods aren't exactly light and I can't exactly fix my bra strap right now, so could you please avert your eyes?
And no, whistling and catcalling will NOT get you laid. I wonder if these men really think a woman would respond to "Hey, baby, looking fine!" with "Golly, you think so? Thanks. We should TOTALLY go get it on in the back of that cherry-picker. Meow."
My favorite compliment ever is "God Bless You." I'm sorry, did I sneeze? Are you the pope? No? Then why on God's green earth should you be blessing me? Oh, I get it. Because of my cleavage. Well in that case, thank you. We should go around blessing all of the people in the world like me, with 34D's, rather than the Mother Theresa's of the planet. Glad we figured that one out.
Awesome: Eating Outdoors
As I've mentioned many times before, dining Al Fresco is one of the great joys in life. Especially if you're lucky enough to be good friends with restaurateurs who have a lovely back patio and a to-die-for striped bass on their menu.
Also - let's not forget the fabulous ice cream outings. The Mister Softee trucks littering 5th avenue are one of New York's best summer features. A dipped soft serve cone somehow makes everything better. And while a not awesome caveat of that is the long line, which blocks the sidewalk, and the hot, smoky fumes coming from the truck's exhaust pipe burning your leg as you cross the street, somehow a bit of that magic shell makes it all worthwhile.
If one is lucky enough to venture out to CT, one must inevitably make the outdoor pit stop at the perennial fave Dairy Queen. It has been serving up sweet treats since 1940 and, although now owned by Berkshire-Hathaway (along with half the free world), it still maintains its awesome allure. The stand in Fairfield hasn't changed for years and the people who work there are always super friendly and full of suggestions. Regan and Lilly introduced me to the waffle crisp sensation last weekend and I've been dreaming about it ever since. DQ really combines another one of my favorite summer things with eating outdoors and ice cream: tradition. I've been doing DQ since I was a little girl and go back multiple times every summer. Along with the Compo Beach fireworks display there is nothing more All-American.
Awesome: Summer Fridays
"But AC," you say in shock, "did you get a job and not tell us?"
No, of course not. That would be ludicrous! Me? A job? Despite my hours of emailing, calling, "exploratory" interviewing, and general networking I have not yet landed a job.
("But AC," you say, "how is that possible? You are so smart, so funny, such a good worker, and you wear such adorable outfits to the office?" You're kind, dear reader, but that's another post entirely.)
Summer Fridays are fabulous for the UNemployed as well. Hello? While you are all getting off work at 1pm after a long morning of "tying up loose ends," I'm fresh out of my "morning" shower and ready to play. And so I reap the benefits of meeting you Nine-to-Oner's for a lunch date; a pedicure; a shopping spree. Everyone wins.
Much like this past week. It wasn't summer Fridays, but somehow I managed to score lunch plans two days in a row. Monday was Italian prix-fixe in Chelsea, Tuesday was BLT Burger in the village. Truth be told, the conversation and waffle fries really hit the spot, but the burgers were what we in the food world refer to as "meh." That's a scientific expression. Lia and I split a turkey burger with avocado and the BLT burger with jack. Monsieur Tourendel - Je t'adore, but would you please stick to what you know? French food, mon ami. Leave the burgers to the Danny Meyers of the world. It's an American cuisine and it's better served in Madison Square Park (there, I said it). The burgers were a bit bland for my taste, which is saying something considering they're made from about 8 of the tastiest parts of a steer. But sometimes an original is best not fussed around with. Like simple chocolate ice cream. Or Bob Dylan. Why must we always "improve" on the original with cheesy add-ins and covers?
Not Awesome: Hot, Malodorous Subway Platforms
And having to wait on them for 10 minutes or more
Awesome: Extreme Air Conditioning
Especially in crowded subway cars
Looking back on this list I suppose the summer is pretty much all around awesome, with only a few bad parts mixed in (mixed in like waffle crisps in a DQ Blizzard, you might say. mmmmm.). But having grown up in a beach town - yes, the LI sound TOTALLY counts as a body of water - in the northeast, we relish the summers and all the joys they bring.
Take my advice to heart and think of it while enjoying Fourth of July, wedding season, sweet, indulgent ice cream cones and as few clothes as possible. Now get off the goddamn computer and go outside already.
P.S. For those of you living in LA (or planning a visit; or generally a need-to-know-where-to-go-now type), I highly recommend you all subscribe now to Rundown.com. It offers excellent LA dining, nightlife, sports, date, activity, etc. suggestions and ideas, and is emailed conveniently to you daily. It's well written, informative, and I love that every day there is a conversational tidbit for you to impress your friends with. For example, did you know that World Eating Champ Kobayashi, he of Nathan's Hot Dog Contest fame, may be sidelined form this year's tournament due to lock jaw? No? Well, then you simply have to subscribe.
"Well, there are cows," he said. "And I must tend to them."
"Oh, how many cows are there?" She asked, encouraging him to practice his English. She expected him to say 20. 30, max.
"There are a thousand."
"Oh, that's awesome," Regan responded, caught off guard.
"No," he replied in innocent, staccato English. "It is not awesome."
As summer is officially in full swing and we've all had a few weeks of getting adjusted to this new, sweltering season, I've observed a few of the things that make this time of year my favorite. Or, in some cases, least favorite. Read on and see if you agree.
Awesome: BBQ
Anyone from Texas (I'm looking at you, Esh) will tell you that a Yankee BBQ is a joke. When we say "barbecue" we a) say it without the required slow, southern drawl, and b) we basically mean "grill." I'm not being a food lexicon snob here - we legitimately were raised thinking throwing a few patties on the Weber meant BBQ. But oh how wrong we were. True BBQ is hard to come by in the city, but luckily outposts like Blue Smoke help make up for it. On a recent Saturday I ventured to a baby shower and was greeted not only by good friends but the smell of brown-sugar-sweet, slow-cooked pork. The mac and cheese (without which no BBQ meal would be complete) was juuuuuuust right - not too dry, where the cheese coagulates and the oil drips to the bottom of the pan, and not too watery, where the pasta doesn't hold onto the fake cheese sauce. This was creamy without being soupy; and had a rich layered taste. I'd say without a doubt the cheese was cheddar and there was lots of it, and definitely dry mustard was added to give "zing" and to cut the creaminess of the dairy.
Yes, ladies and gents, that is my party trick. Take me to a restaurant, let me sample your favorite dish, and I can likely tell you what the secret ingredient is. You think that Lebanese dessert smells like your grandmother? Rosewater. Can't place the herb in your salad dressing? Likely tarragon.
On occasion I've been brought into Sur La Table with friends who have led me around the store by my wrists, turned to their mystified friends/siblings/salespeople and said "Watch this. Allie - what would one use this for?" They may ask, holding up a small, conical wooden dowel.
"For making ice cream cones, obvi."
Really, it's a gift. Next time you're in town we should totally hit up Bed, Bath, & Beyond. It's almost as much fun as playing Jeopardy! with me on TiVo (no, I do NOT prerecord in order to cheat).
Super Awesome: Homemade Summer Sweets
Lia, my mentor and a true food lover (who is my go-to in times of restaurant rec needs) treated us all to her homemade whoopie pies and banana cake at the Blue Smoke BBQ. There's no sweeter way to end a catered affair than with a home-baked dessert, and she blew us all away. The whoopie pies were dense, moist, and full of rich dark cocoa flavor, and the cream filling would make Little Debbie weep (or hang her head in shame). The banana cake was almost as good as Billy's Bakery and had that fresh banana taste - using real mashed bananas is key, as that banana "flavoring" tastes faker than Pam Anderson's tits. The best part was I got to keep the leftover cream cheese frosting at my place until Lia came back to claim it on Monday. It was delish atop something simple. Like my right index finger.
Awesome: Skimpy Clothing
As the mercury rises so, too, does the amount of skin women show. Small summer dresses, tube tops, short skirts, super lightweight tanks and tees, short shorts...the list goes on. I love that I can throw on essentially a long-ish tank top and some flip flops and count that as an "outfit" perfectly acceptable to wear in public. I like that if the mood strikes (as it often does) I can prance around town in tiny tees that will give me the best possible tan lines. And the bright colors! All of which also motivate a girl to hit the gym. And despite my need for an industrial-strength sports bra, somehow in the summer I have zero qualms about wearing a bikini top as a bra on the weekends. For all the guy in the coffee shop knows, you were totally just lounging at the SoHo House pool.
Not Awesome: Men's Reaction to Skimpy Summer Clothing
This one is fairly self-explanatory. But to clarify: Sorry, sir, but just because you and your greasy construction team are taking a lunch break does not mean that my walking (not prancing - just straight walking) down the street is for your benefit. It is not a catwalk. It is not a strip club. I am lugging my overheated ass to run errands and these bags form Whole Foods aren't exactly light and I can't exactly fix my bra strap right now, so could you please avert your eyes?
And no, whistling and catcalling will NOT get you laid. I wonder if these men really think a woman would respond to "Hey, baby, looking fine!" with "Golly, you think so? Thanks. We should TOTALLY go get it on in the back of that cherry-picker. Meow."
My favorite compliment ever is "God Bless You." I'm sorry, did I sneeze? Are you the pope? No? Then why on God's green earth should you be blessing me? Oh, I get it. Because of my cleavage. Well in that case, thank you. We should go around blessing all of the people in the world like me, with 34D's, rather than the Mother Theresa's of the planet. Glad we figured that one out.
Awesome: Eating Outdoors
As I've mentioned many times before, dining Al Fresco is one of the great joys in life. Especially if you're lucky enough to be good friends with restaurateurs who have a lovely back patio and a to-die-for striped bass on their menu.
Also - let's not forget the fabulous ice cream outings. The Mister Softee trucks littering 5th avenue are one of New York's best summer features. A dipped soft serve cone somehow makes everything better. And while a not awesome caveat of that is the long line, which blocks the sidewalk, and the hot, smoky fumes coming from the truck's exhaust pipe burning your leg as you cross the street, somehow a bit of that magic shell makes it all worthwhile.
If one is lucky enough to venture out to CT, one must inevitably make the outdoor pit stop at the perennial fave Dairy Queen. It has been serving up sweet treats since 1940 and, although now owned by Berkshire-Hathaway (along with half the free world), it still maintains its awesome allure. The stand in Fairfield hasn't changed for years and the people who work there are always super friendly and full of suggestions. Regan and Lilly introduced me to the waffle crisp sensation last weekend and I've been dreaming about it ever since. DQ really combines another one of my favorite summer things with eating outdoors and ice cream: tradition. I've been doing DQ since I was a little girl and go back multiple times every summer. Along with the Compo Beach fireworks display there is nothing more All-American.
Awesome: Summer Fridays
"But AC," you say in shock, "did you get a job and not tell us?"
No, of course not. That would be ludicrous! Me? A job? Despite my hours of emailing, calling, "exploratory" interviewing, and general networking I have not yet landed a job.
("But AC," you say, "how is that possible? You are so smart, so funny, such a good worker, and you wear such adorable outfits to the office?" You're kind, dear reader, but that's another post entirely.)
Summer Fridays are fabulous for the UNemployed as well. Hello? While you are all getting off work at 1pm after a long morning of "tying up loose ends," I'm fresh out of my "morning" shower and ready to play. And so I reap the benefits of meeting you Nine-to-Oner's for a lunch date; a pedicure; a shopping spree. Everyone wins.
Much like this past week. It wasn't summer Fridays, but somehow I managed to score lunch plans two days in a row. Monday was Italian prix-fixe in Chelsea, Tuesday was BLT Burger in the village. Truth be told, the conversation and waffle fries really hit the spot, but the burgers were what we in the food world refer to as "meh." That's a scientific expression. Lia and I split a turkey burger with avocado and the BLT burger with jack. Monsieur Tourendel - Je t'adore, but would you please stick to what you know? French food, mon ami. Leave the burgers to the Danny Meyers of the world. It's an American cuisine and it's better served in Madison Square Park (there, I said it). The burgers were a bit bland for my taste, which is saying something considering they're made from about 8 of the tastiest parts of a steer. But sometimes an original is best not fussed around with. Like simple chocolate ice cream. Or Bob Dylan. Why must we always "improve" on the original with cheesy add-ins and covers?
Not Awesome: Hot, Malodorous Subway Platforms
And having to wait on them for 10 minutes or more
Awesome: Extreme Air Conditioning
Especially in crowded subway cars
Looking back on this list I suppose the summer is pretty much all around awesome, with only a few bad parts mixed in (mixed in like waffle crisps in a DQ Blizzard, you might say. mmmmm.). But having grown up in a beach town - yes, the LI sound TOTALLY counts as a body of water - in the northeast, we relish the summers and all the joys they bring.
Take my advice to heart and think of it while enjoying Fourth of July, wedding season, sweet, indulgent ice cream cones and as few clothes as possible. Now get off the goddamn computer and go outside already.
P.S. For those of you living in LA (or planning a visit; or generally a need-to-know-where-to-go-now type), I highly recommend you all subscribe now to Rundown.com. It offers excellent LA dining, nightlife, sports, date, activity, etc. suggestions and ideas, and is emailed conveniently to you daily. It's well written, informative, and I love that every day there is a conversational tidbit for you to impress your friends with. For example, did you know that World Eating Champ Kobayashi, he of Nathan's Hot Dog Contest fame, may be sidelined form this year's tournament due to lock jaw? No? Well, then you simply have to subscribe.
posted by Chaden at 6:25 PM
1 Comments:
AC, you seriously crack me up. I LOVED this post. Definitely your best one yet. And I'm not just saying that b/c I got two shout-outs in it. Thanks for all the whoopie pie and banana cake praise. Loved the Natalie Wood line too (and the fact that I just learned a new word which I have no idea how to pronounce!).
xoxo
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